- Directing: Danny Boyle. 15/21. Is it really possible that everybody that did anything for Slumdog did it better than anyone else for any other movie? That, my friends, is the magic of marketing.
- I’m starting to get nervous about the big awards, and I don’t really know why. I really hope Mickey Rourke wins. I really want to hear his speech. Today on the red carpet, he said he had planned to bring Loki, his dog he thanked at the Golden Globes, as his date, but she died last week. He even had a little tuxedo made for her. Sad stuff. He’d better win.
- Anne Hathaway is so pretty. Kate Winslet, too. I think I need to date a celebrity.Sophia Loren even works. She has to be the sexiest 120 year-old person alive.
- Kate wins (16/22). It’s nice to see someone that seems so un-ironically happy to be honored. If I were dating her, I’d give her a shampoo bottle shaped like an Oscar. And that is why I should be dating a celebrity.
- Here’s the big one, as far as I’m concerned. It’s going to come down to who introduces who. Sean Penn got Robert De Niro… and Mickey Rourke gets… Ben Kingsley. Hmm… close one. It’s Sean Penn, and I can’t argue. “You commie, homo-loving sons of guns.” Classic line. And you have to love the shout out to Mickey Rourke. I wish I was Mickey Rourke’s brother.
- And the Oscar for Best Picture goes to… Not Benjamin Button! It’s a victory for Quality and for all Americans! The academy got it right this year. Slumdog Millionaire is a beautiful movie. Now they’re trying to get everyone up on stage at once. Someone had better restrain Angelina. Having all those little brown kids up there has to be like porn for her.
And a few final notes to sum up the night:
- I finished up at 17/24. Not bad, I’d say. I should have picked Sean Penn–I knew he was going to win. All in all, a pretty predictable night. Slumdog cleaned up. Benjamin Button won a few visual awards, but nothing of any substance.
- The show was good–one of the better ones I can remember. It was restrained, subtle, and heartfelt. Hugh Jackman acquitted himself somewhat by not being too often on stage.
- A good night to be a gay Indian. A bad night to be Mormon nun who ages in reverse… or Bill Maher.
We Watch 