Caprica is dead, long live Blood and Chrome

RIP Caprica: January 22, 2010 – October 27, 2010

Warning dudes, this is another entry about a TV show, which is definitely not a movie, but its winter; AMIRIGHT? I sort of fell in love with Battlestar Galactica when I was first introduced to it. I was swimming in a cable-less sea when it premiered. I caught the mini-series through netflix and watched most of the rest of the episodes of the series on pirated discs. My appreciation of the series can be reduced its two most sterling elements: strong characters and (inconsistently) bold writing. Edward James Olmos, James Callis, and Donnie Darko’s mom offered consistently amazing performances despite the shifting sands of the many, many, many terrible actors/characters who surrounded them like so many goblinish snowflakes. I didn’t care for Starbuck but I understand why so many people liked her character and identified with her. Plus, the show gave Lucy Lawless work and why should we discredit that? She’s a handsome woman, a damn handsome woman.

"she's famous, she played Xena!"

Writing – by its fourth.five season, Galactica was listing badly with nearly too many plot holes to plug. The writers had rankled the show’s fans with some poorly imagined character and story arcs – magic babies anyone? We can evince my feelings on the series’ ofttimes mercurial writing by stating that I award it laurels for its boldness, not the clarity of its execution. During their journey into uncharted space these characters were faced with choices and the writers followed through with the responsibilities those choices demanded. Main characters died horrible and disappointing deaths. Heroes became villains while villains stayed villains or didn’t. This was not a show like, we’ll say THE OFFICE, that returned to the status quo every week and only changed to give us what we, as an audience, wanted. This was a show that gave us the finger and did what it wanted to do. Let me explain this by examining the show’s high point: the contentious ending (which I totally called – minus the weird robot montage) which was in parts incredibly beautiful and artistic and meaningful and also deeply flawed. I don’t believe that humanity’s desire to farm labor to machines will prove our downfall, but I do believe that history follows cycles and that we’re prone to admit and then ignore that fact. Moore’s suggestion that greater and potentially imperceptible powers might be monitoring and guiding those cycles is a bolder move to make in these dark years than people realize. How often is the name of God mentioned as anything but a polemic, joke, or curse word on mainstream television these days? You know that I love me my bully pulpit so, let it be said that Ron Moore deserves some love for the thoughtful insertion of a serious consideration of DEITY into popular culture.

Needless to say, when I heard that Moore was back with a spin-off about a dynastic feud between the families who produced the cylons that instigated everything in BSG I felt like Snooki the first time they let her out of Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory (badump-ching)

"What is the plural of Snooki? Snookies?"

I was excited about the broad and beautiful canvas Moore appropriated for himself. The show was no let down. Caprica lacked the desperate edge and action of BSG and sometimes it was guilty of handling its CGI models clumsily.  However, it had incredibly interesting characters who were played with consistent excellence by great actors (minus the British polyamorite – she SUCKED). By setting the show on “contemporary” Caprica, Moore freed his writing staff to examine the issues gnawing at our cultural integrity today. The show tackled ideas like the lascivious and anonymous decadence of an immersive on-line world with more appeal than “real” life vis a vis the insidious nature of wealth, the instability of untempered and immature religious zealotry. and the longing to be part of a family. Unfortunately, this ambition (and the delightful Alessandra Torresani) were resistible.

"You'd be angry too if your dad made you into a robot with hands fit for nothing but stabbing things."

Caprica never found an audience and it withered on the vine. Sy-Fy canceled it last week and then announced a new, presumably more action-centric spin-off called Battlestar Galactica: Blood and Chrome for release in 2011. Blood and Chrome will tell the tale of the First Cylon Wars. At this point we can hope for a Triple Crown.

Hipster Zombie, pt. 2

"no no that one, the other one. yeah, the scene zombie in the background, he was smoking a really ironic pipe before this shot."

The Hipster Zombie Drinking Game:

1) read the previous Hipster Zombie post.

2) choose a non-alcoholic but caffeinated (we’ll be as dangerous as we dare, ok?) beverage in a can.

3) Every time the Hipster Zombie is featured prominently, imagine that he is saying something like, “pffff these brains are pretty good but I had better, more obscure ones in Art School.” Then drink the whole can of whatever you picked.

4) go to the bathroom, probably a lot of times.

Hiptser Zombies

What were you doing on Sunday night? Probably something holy I bet. I watched the premiere of AMC’s adaptation of the Walking Dead with a group of strangers. (Perhaps as it should be).

You can watch the trailer at this link. You might actually stick to watching the trailer and ignore everything else I write. But, you know, suit yourself. Anyway, back to the party. One of the people was dressed like Batwoman – not Batgirl, a point she clarified twice that night. I thought that was apt. Another guest had a beard that ran to his chest, about to where his nipples probably were if he had the normal proportions. He didn’t verify this – and to my credit I didn’t ask. I’m just guessing. I thought it was a prop. He was slightly offended. He told me that he hadn’t shaved since 2001. I apologized. The third guest I will comment on interrupted our viewing to pointedly ask if one of the characters in the show was played by Mandy Patinkin, which was all the more impressive because he knew who Mandy Patinkin was. We decided it probably wasn’t. No sword fighting. But this is about AMC’s new show. Let me tell you friends, it was pretty great. Chip has watched movies with me. He can tell you that, amended to a list of my many faults, right between ungentle lover (bad breath) and inconsistent phone call returner (you’re right, it probably is because I don’t care) is “not being a quiet movie watcher.” This has sunk friendships before. I’m guessing there were other not quiet movie watchers present. But let me tell you, we watched the show with a kind of silence that bordered on religious fervor and if it was that then that living room was a cathedral. It wasn’t until some corniness at the end involving a convenient horse and the worst designed tank ever made that I started to crack. With these exceptions, the Walking Dead was a pretty darn all-around good time multimedia experience.

I won’t go into the story – it’s a television show adaptation of a long running comic book (ahem, graphic novel) about the survivors of a zombie apocalypse. The show is run by Frank Darabont (writer director of the Shawshank Redemption, the Green Mile, and the Mist) and Gale Ann Hurd (award winning producer of the Alien and Terminator films and noted James Cameron survivor) and Robert Kirkman (writer of the comic book). There is talent behind the camera and it shows. Two of the set pieces are excellent. While they rely on preexisting tropes but are executed so well that they are not distracting. The show’s first third adds an element of creepiness to the “abandoned hospital” that has stuck with me lo these 24 hours later. The premiere largely focuses on star Andrew Lincoln while giving only the briefest of nods to characters who will fill out the rest of the season’s story lines. He needs to do some serious ACCCCTTIINNGG to impress me. Really, he’s probably a very attractive man but he isn’t very interesting. Neither is his character. In fact, his character makes some colossally stupid decisions that don’t help. Lennie James (WHO WAS IN 24 HOUR PARTY PEOPLE – I WAS RIGHT!) features as a guest in this episode. He was awesome. Also the actress who played his wife was the creepiest zombie I’ve ever seen and I should know – I once failed to make a zombie movie. (PS. Chip, why would she move like a bird? Why did she do that?). The biggest thrill of the night was the debut of the Hipster Zombie. First shown slouched ironically in the shell of a burned bus, he climbs out after Andrew Lincoln and staggers right into America’s heart and mind. Played by Joe Giles – he can be seen here

isn't he so ironic? he just needs a little blood stained ascot.

This guy is a star. Wait for him, when he appears it’ll blow your mind. And, unless you don’t like lots of people being shot in the head and really gross looking zombies (because there are lots of people being shot in the head and lots of gross zombies – which was probably unnecessary even for a show about people shooting gross zombies in the head) then you’ll probably like the Walking Dead. Take it from me, I’m a doctor and I’m on the internet.