Oscars Live Blog — Part 1

• My dad’s fist reaction to hearing Hugh Jackman’s name: “How do they pick the people to host this?” Almost like, “If they’ve sunk this low, I should get my name in the hat.”
• Is Hugh Jackman allowed to make jokes about not being nominated? Doesn’t that require some sort of conceivable possibility of it ever occurring?
• Wow, this musical number is depressing me.
• Solid reference to Benjamin Button’s pubic hair. Did you know that nine people have found my blog by searching “pubic hair”? I’m not sure why that makes me proud, but it does.
• Hmm… standing ovation for the musical number? I don’t know if I support this. Although, these are some decent jokes from Van Helsing, I must say.
• I’m not digging the scaled-down style here. I want the red curtain, the sweeping vista of the crowd. This seems like 50 people in my high school auditorium.
• Penelope! One for one. I’m not one to notice these things, but that dress is really pretty. Not a bad speech–waxed a little purple about the “uniting” effect of the ceremony. It’s not like it’s a war-time olympiad or Joyeux Noel.
• MILK! Hmm… 1 for 2. This kind of scares me, because Milk is one of those movies that could really just end up winning every award it’s nominated for and jacking up my predictions… WAIT! AWESOME! A GAY MORMON!!!!!!!!…Holy cow. What a night. Later on, Hugh Jackman’s going to announce that he’s a Unitarian who has sex with plants.
• Simon Beaufoy wins. 2 for 3. Suck it, haters.
• Wall-E wins its default category. No surprise. 3 for 4.
• Ahh… Pixar misses out on the shortie. 3 for 5. Wait, why is Michael Scott accepting, and why is he doing a bad impression of a chinese person?