Not Really About How She Move

So one of my major quirks/hang-ups/neuroses is that I hate making decisions. I know, everyone says that. But they are liars. What they mean is that they feel uncomfortable deciding things for other people, like where to eat or what movie to see or what kind of pizza to get, if they’re in a group. When it comes to their personal lives, most people really care about preserving their right to decide things for themselves.

I really hate making decisions, big or small. I hate it so much, in fact, that a large chunk of my creative energy is spent developing elaborate, systematic decisive formulas for different situations. For example, if I am hungry and by myself, I drive in a random direction and eat at the first unfamiliar restaurant that I see. Sometimes it backfires and I end up eating at JoJo’s Family Buffet or some other less-savory option, but I keep doing it. This sort of system allows me to function without feeling responsible for the result. I know. It’s kind of sad.

The most elaborate of my decisive systems is that which governs which movies I watch. In somewhat simplified terms, it involves me going to Metacritic and scanning through the various lists of composite reviews it offers, until I come across a movie I haven’t seen that meets the system’s requirements, meaning it has a score of at least 60/100, or between 30/100 and 60/100, but involves some director, actor, or writer that I particularly like. Of course, I follow a specific order when scanning the lists, starting with the most recent releases, then to the box office list, then the list of recommended movies, then to the list of all wide-releases, then to the list of all limited-releases, then to the lists of the top 20 reviewed movies from each year. And need I remind you that this system is actually a simplifying force in my life. Whew.

Anyway, so once a qualifying movie presents itself, it is watched, no matter what, and sometimes the result is not particularly satisfying. On multiple occasions, I have been one or two better-reviewed movies away from watching the new Beowulf movie. /shudder/ Vantage Point qualified, because of my personal devotion to Lost and any actor that appears thereon. That was a disastrously bad movie. Yesterday, the movie that presented itself was How She Move. Now, if I were a normal person, I would have simply decided to not watch it. It was a borderline case, with a score of 63/100. The content of the title indicated that it was probably about dancing, and believe it or not, I do not have the heart of a dancer. The only dancing movies that are any good are from the 80s and good for all the wrong reasons. However, the system arrived at How She Move, so there was no point in debating. I had to watch How She Move.

It sucked.

I think I need to reevaluate some things.

/sigh/